I've been wearing 2 pairs of pants all day. Long johns and sweatpants. Later, long johns and jeans. I don't feel particularly cold.
Yesterday, work stressed me out. This does not happen often. I have a specific stressor. I was frustrated with it. Later that night I told Rach I had been stressed at work and the feeling came back. Its anxiety. Rach felt it pouring out of me like it was drenching her. I focused on her and I quickly felt better.
Like last night I can usually snap myself out of it. Most times it isn't even anxiety. I get a fleeting tremble like I'm going to cry. It happens a lot when I'm watching tv by myself. But when I do feel seriously anxious, which is not very often, all I need to do is change my focus to feel better. I only have two instances where I felt like I was panicking.
The last time was at work a few months ago. (It comes with an urge to self medicate. As if a pill would instantly make a person feel better. I know for a fact that its the idea of it that actually makes me feel better.) I was in the middle of a project, I was dealing with normal day to day stuff that was occurring faster than normal and work being done by somebody else in a totally different part of the building was invading my personal space. I had to get out of there. I left my room. I ate some chill out mints. I took a walk around and felt better quickly.
The first time, I was in my car. I was on the hunt for the anti allergen variety of a fabric freshener. At least an hour had been spent going from store to store with no luck at all. I know I ended up with the intended product in my home but I have no memory of buying it. I was hitting every light and I decided the guy in front of me was an effing moron and I peaked. I was in my car with no place to go or even pull over. I called my doctors office hoping to get in there for the antidote. To my horror (actually relief), they were booked. By the time I got off the phone, then into my apartment with the dog I felt mostly better. It went away because I sort of forgot I had a problem in the first place.
I'm still wearing two pairs of pant. It has been over 24 hours. I even showered and put them back on. Long johns is not a euphemism for something. I've taken them off now. I don't have a weird thing where I wear them every day. I don't have a secret union suit tucked away that I wear during full moons. (That would actually be pretty funny.) I guess I talked them into something that comforted me today. I've never done that before. I don't imagine it will be something I do again. Somehow rationalizing it made me feel like I was about to puke. I generally have a warm lower half.
I thought of a 3rd. I couldn't find the chinese food menu. I thought my head/heart were going to explode. Then I found it under the futon.
Yesterday, work stressed me out. This does not happen often. I have a specific stressor. I was frustrated with it. Later that night I told Rach I had been stressed at work and the feeling came back. Its anxiety. Rach felt it pouring out of me like it was drenching her. I focused on her and I quickly felt better.
Like last night I can usually snap myself out of it. Most times it isn't even anxiety. I get a fleeting tremble like I'm going to cry. It happens a lot when I'm watching tv by myself. But when I do feel seriously anxious, which is not very often, all I need to do is change my focus to feel better. I only have two instances where I felt like I was panicking.
The last time was at work a few months ago. (It comes with an urge to self medicate. As if a pill would instantly make a person feel better. I know for a fact that its the idea of it that actually makes me feel better.) I was in the middle of a project, I was dealing with normal day to day stuff that was occurring faster than normal and work being done by somebody else in a totally different part of the building was invading my personal space. I had to get out of there. I left my room. I ate some chill out mints. I took a walk around and felt better quickly.
The first time, I was in my car. I was on the hunt for the anti allergen variety of a fabric freshener. At least an hour had been spent going from store to store with no luck at all. I know I ended up with the intended product in my home but I have no memory of buying it. I was hitting every light and I decided the guy in front of me was an effing moron and I peaked. I was in my car with no place to go or even pull over. I called my doctors office hoping to get in there for the antidote. To my horror (actually relief), they were booked. By the time I got off the phone, then into my apartment with the dog I felt mostly better. It went away because I sort of forgot I had a problem in the first place.
I'm still wearing two pairs of pant. It has been over 24 hours. I even showered and put them back on. Long johns is not a euphemism for something. I've taken them off now. I don't have a weird thing where I wear them every day. I don't have a secret union suit tucked away that I wear during full moons. (That would actually be pretty funny.) I guess I talked them into something that comforted me today. I've never done that before. I don't imagine it will be something I do again. Somehow rationalizing it made me feel like I was about to puke. I generally have a warm lower half.
I thought of a 3rd. I couldn't find the chinese food menu. I thought my head/heart were going to explode. Then I found it under the futon.
